It’s 8:30 pm and I have successfully made it through Day 1. I call it version 2.0 because I did not drink at all in August and now my goal is to do another 30 days and beyond. I know that I have to focus on small wins, like one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. I have a nice little trip planned to a yoga retreat for the end of December. It is my goal to go to this place clean and clear. I’ll also need to pick back up with yoga so that I can keep up.
I went hiking with a friend today. It was a nice surprise because she is not the outdoorsy type, but she is one of my favorite friends. We had a great time and she’s a bit more fit than I am so I really had to work hard to keep up with her. I’m completely exhausted right now and pretty sure I’ll sleep well. I’ve been having insanely wild and scary dreams for the past few weeks and I’m hoping that those will calm down as my system benefits from not having any alcohol in it. Even if I don’t sleep well during this adjustment phase of not drinking at least I’ll be sober and I know that I will begin to sleep well again in about 7-10 days.
This time around, I know what to expect so it’s not as uncertain as it was in August. I know that in a couple of days I’ll begin to cool down. In a few more days my confidence will increase and I’ll feel more competent in all areas of my life. In a couple of weeks I’ll feel like anything is possible and I’ll be more motivated to exercise more because I’ll feel like I’m worth it and I’m proud to take good care of myself.
I have to remember that this is a choice. I am choosing to not drink. When I have a tough day, I won’t drink. I won’t give up. I know this can be a difficult time of year to not drink because of the holidays, but I think that’s a part of what makes me want to accomplish this even more.
I’m making preparations this week for my quit date. December 1, 2012.
This week I am taking extra vitamins to try and ensure that I have plenty of nutrients. I’ve read alot about how taking extra vitamins can help when withdrawing from alcohol. I’m deciding what I’ll do with my evenings. Reading and writing blogs in the evening is a top choice, but sometimes I spend a little too much time reading others and I can get a little sucked in.
Reconnecting is also a goal of mine. I have been anti-facebook and other social medias but I’m going to start by sending messages to all of my family members and let them know that I’m starting early on a New Year’s Goal of keeping in touch with family members. I’ll start with them and then branch out to friends and colleagues (I just lean toward the private side and facebook often feels a little uncomfortable for me). Yoga is another goal. I’ll likely start with a Friday evening restorative class and then see what I can manage in addition to that.
I mentioned to one of my sisters that I’m not drinking in December. She asked why and I told her that I did not drink at all in August and it was really helpful because it was a very busy month and I felt like I was able to stay on top of things better and I lost a few pounds and need to reduce calories in December (that’s the best excuse in the book to share with others!). I hope she’ll follow up with me and I might bring it up too. I also have seen that alcohol might be a problem for her to0 but we also see each other mostly on holidays or special occasions so I can’t say if that’s normal for her or not. She also has pretty significant depression and anxiety.
I scheduled a big reward for myself. I’m going to a yoga retreat at the end of December. I’ve been there before and it’s a beautiful and very simple place. I know that I will get so much more out of this weekend if I go clean and clear, so that is my motivation. Also, I love winter and have already been daydreaming about a day hike out to the lake and waterfall on the grounds.
I think I need to better figure out how I’m going to deal with the un-inebriated thoughts, feelings and emotions. I can use the SMART Recovery online meetings and chat rooms for this as well as writing posts about it.
I think I’ve got a solid plan in place. I’m open to all of your suggestions as well. Have I got it all covered?