Sitting in my car

I’m sitting in my car.  Writing this post on a phone with 6% battery. Thinking about drinking bit want to be strong.  Today was exhausting but in a good way.  I gave everything I had to support others and literally had no time to recover from one event to another.  Was on way to get fast food, but don’t want it.  Thought about going to grocery store, but that is dangerously tempting.  So pulled over and am just sitting here and crying til the universe tells me  what to do.

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10 thoughts on “Sitting in my car

  1. Suzy—I am not the universe…but I just came back to my office (I work at home, and I was talking to my son in the Kitchen. He just completed a final today, so he was relaxing with(what used to be!) one of my favorite wines – I walked past him not knowing that he had been drinking wine….and I said Yuck what is that smell?!!!
    My son has grown up watching me drink LOTS of wine….and he chuckled and said some of your best wine…..yuck…was all I could say….I could NEVER smell wine before I stopped drinking, I must have walked around for the past 15 years smelling like the bottom of a wine cask, all wine soaked, and purple….wonder if that is why my 6am yoga teacher used to talk about the benefits of moderation of wine during our SIX AM CLASS : )
    It is so difficult to say to someone…..ahhhh! just don’t drink, but if you sit in your car for a few more min and recall how happy you have been when you did other things beyond drinking-when you really wanted that wine. You will be a happy Suzy on Wednesday.
    Hugs,
    Kat

  2. Suzy – I am not the universe either. All I know is that alcohol tricks us into thinking we need it (we don’t), that it will make things better (it doesn’t), that it will make things more fun (it won’t), that it will make pain go away (it doesn’t), that it will help us live the best life we can (it won’t), that it will be kind to us (it isn’t), that it’s just some goddam magic fucking solve all. IT’S NOT!!! Cry cry cry then go home and sulk sulk sulk then go to bed and sleep sleep sleep and wake up screaming out to that goddam bloody liquid that YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT IT!!!!!!!! (you are)
    xxxxxx

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