I’m doing great today. I woke up and said, “I won’t drink today.” I reminded myself of that a few times. I made sure to have a granola bar before a meeting because I didn’t know how long it would go. Throughout the day, right as I was about to hit an intense stretch of attention, something would remind me to refill my water bottle or have a couple of almonds.
Then, one of my colleagues started talking about how she’s been drinking wine at night to get sleepy. Then she joked that she was drinking too much, talked about a bottle of cabernet she had at home…and I started picturing her drinking then I pictured me drinking. Then I thought, “I should drink wine tonight too.” Then I just had to cut that shit out. I played the tape and pictured myself waking up late, groggy and rushing to work. I just don’t want to deal with that.
I’m super tired. Off to bed, I haven’t had one of my wild scary dreams for about a week now. Last night I dreamt that I was getting my nails done with red sparkle polish – maybe it’s time for a manicure.