I didn’t really think about drinking today. I woke up, got along with my day and knew I would not have to debate with myself or fight the urge to drink. It just wasn’t there. I’m thankful for that because it seems like it’s easier for me to cave in on the weekend than during the week. Next Friday night, I’ll go to a SMART meeting if I have the courage or I’ll go to a yoga class as plan B. Either way, I’ll do something to be in touch with myself. I do find myself wishing that I had someone to talk to in person about drinking, to tell the truth and not have to feel badly about it. I could come clean with the counselor I see every 2-3 weeks, but I just don’t know if I want to. I’d rather find someone new and start with the truth.
I had a lovely day. A cold, grey, rainy late fall day. I love this weather. I think the weather made me more calm today. I cleaned. I cooked a super healthy bean soup with lots of veggies. I have my meals planned out for the week. I have clothes set out for the week. Thursday-Saturday will be very busy for me this week because my organization is sponsoring a conference. It will be great because I love the people I work with and I’ll meet a lot of new people as well. The main thing for me to remember during the later part of the week is to eat well and make sure I’m hydrated. It’s nice that it’s cold out because I can just throw some extra things in my trunk and not have to remember it every day.
I have to remember how much I want the life that I can envision for myself. I have to remember that not drinking will be a huge part of that.