ready for the week

I didn’t really think about drinking today.  I woke up, got along with my day and knew I would not have to debate with myself or fight the urge to drink.  It just wasn’t there.  I’m thankful for that because it seems like it’s easier for me to cave in on the weekend than during the week.  Next Friday night, I’ll go to a SMART meeting if I have the courage or I’ll go to a yoga class as plan B.  Either way, I’ll do something to be in touch with myself.  I do find myself wishing that I had someone to talk to in person about drinking, to tell the truth and not have to feel badly about it.  I could come clean with the counselor I see every 2-3 weeks, but I just don’t know if I want to.  I’d rather find someone new and start with the truth.

I had a lovely day.  A cold, grey, rainy late fall day.  I love this weather.  I think the weather made me more calm today.  I cleaned.  I cooked a super healthy bean soup with lots of veggies.  I have my meals planned out for the week.  I have clothes set out for the week.  Thursday-Saturday will be very busy for me this week because my organization is sponsoring a conference.  It will be great because I love the people I work with and I’ll meet a lot of new people as well.  The main thing for me to remember during the later part of the week is to eat well and make sure I’m hydrated.  It’s nice that it’s cold out because I can just throw some extra things in my trunk and not have to remember it every day.

I have to remember how much I want the life that I can envision for myself.  I have to remember that not drinking will be a huge part of that.


3 thoughts on “ready for the week

  1. Sounds like a great plan for the week, the downsizing of the drink in our lives-exactly!
    I know the feeling, I feel like it will be months before I am where I want to be with my running, etc. but the only way to get there is to keep drinking out of it-like you are.

  2. I can do relate to wanting to talk to 1 person who struggled like I did! And let me tell you once you find that person(hopefully fri night at smart) the weight of your secret will be lifted and you will feel so free!!!! I did it through AA ….but wherever is great!!! I just needed One person that I could sit with face to face and say this my darkest secret an guess what ? They understand and will love and embrace you right where you are because they have been ther! I am so excited for you! Since I have been going to AA I have found at least 10 women that I can connect with because our stories are so much the same. I pray that you find a group you can be real with and be free from the horrible bondage of our secret! I only wish the scale showed the weight I feel lifted as well;) have the best day! You are so worth it:)!

  3. your blog was one of the first ones i found in my first few days sober. I can not tell you how much your words resonated from your post “day 5, blah”. I kept (and still do) repeating to myself that I am not a “normal drinker” if i have to lock myself inside. 😉

    thanks for your words!

    XO, kitz

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