What am I thinking and feeling right now? This is the first time today that I have really tuned in to myself. I often tune into sensory experiences, like today when I walked outside and inhaled the fresh cool air of the morning. I love late fall mornings. But that’s not really taking the time to tune into myself.
Right now, I’m tired but I can feel it. When I’m drinking, I can’t feel the heaviness of my limbs in the late evening. I’m calm. My mind is not racing. I’m feeling neutral. I’m not in agony over anything big or small. I don’t feel any guilt about anything from today or recently. I don’t feel anxious about anything, but there are also a few things I’m purposely ignoring because I know they will cause anxiety. I’m just a little sad or lonely, not sure which one, but I’ll feel better when I get into my comfy bed and keep reading “The Age of Miracles”. The character in the book also feels alot of loneliness that I can identify with as an adolescent and as an adult but I find the book comforting. I’m grateful that I didn’t drink today. I could have. I want to drink but I don’t want to deal with ANY of the other crap that comes with it. So I sip on my ginger beer and that is a consequence-free drink, so I’ll stick with it.