Wow, you all are geniuses and psychoanalysts in disguise. I had several take aways from your comments as I incorporated them into my own thoughts:
1. I’m mad at my sister for things I “should” be mad at my mother about, but my sister mothered me throughout high school and college in a way that my mother did not, so that is why it is directed at Sister A.
2. Sister A naturally feels alot of responsibility and over-attachment to the people she loves, me included.
3. When I was younger Sister B refused to play barbies and dolls with me but Sister A would always play even though she was too old for them.
4. I feel like who I really am does not match up with the vision of who Sister A thinks I am. I actually think she may think too highly of me and that creates an overall feeling that she doesn’t really listen to me or hear me. Then I censor myself so I won’t ruin her version of me.
5. Sister B doesn’t care about those things. We have a great relationship and I love spending time with her and her family. That must suck for Sister A to possibly feel like she puts so much care, time and effort into me and I go and like Sister B better.
6. Sister A brings on alot of her own problems because she is an overly responsible person because she finds it gratifying in some way. BUT, there is also an aspect of that coming from childhood conditioning because she was given too much responsibility for us. I’m just trying to say that I get where it comes from, but she doesn’t have to keep doing it (but I also understand that it must be hard for her to feel so much responsibility for others).
7. Sister B might be a representation of my father. He’s great and all but he worked a ton and my mom was the primary parent. I can’t really be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong, he just kind of did nothing.
8. My sister seems to like getting heavily involved in a project or cause. She didn’t just start scrapbooking, she became a company rep. and sold the stuff too. She didn’t just have children, she started a mother’s group and has maintained it for seven years! She doesn’t just keep a tidy house, she has every kind of shelving system there is and everything has a shelf or container. She doesn’t just buy a store cake, she gets a whole cake kit and bakes it at home. BUT, she also abandons these causes/interests after some period of time (mother’s group will likely be the exception because that involves enduring relationships). She seems to easily feel guilt and obligation. She’s super emotional, but does not have a temper.
9. I just sent Sister A a text and said, “Sorry I wasn’t so talkative last night, I have a lot going on. I hope the girls had a great day at school.” Maybe I’ll figure out a way to work in a follow up conversation related to the reasons I was not talkative (because I wanted to scream at you because you were being critical of me and it set me off).
10. I think we could work through this with lots of tears. I think I could acknowledge that she has done more than enough for me and we can just be friends now.
11. Starting a blog is the best choice I’ve made in a long time. Sister A has a blog that is pretty popular in the Mothering genre and is locally known for it. Interesting.