I made it to the gym this evening. As I was driving home I passed one of the stores I frequent for wine (and you know how we have several so as not to buy too much at any one place). Without really thinking about it, I looked straight ahead, kept one hand on the wheel and flipped the store the bird with the other. Then I burst out laughing at how ridiculous that was. But it was a good feeling to know that I would not be stopping in and was heading home to shower and enjoy some of the goodies I stocked up on in place of alcohol.
When I made it home I was wondering why that felt like an accomplishment. In the more recent past, when I have gone without drinking for 2 days it’s usually because I was hungover one day and the next day I needed to prove that I didn’t have to drink every day. But in the back of my head I knew I could drink again. This time, I’m not giving myself that option. In August there is no 2 days off, 3-5 days on. There’s 31 days off and that is the non-negotiable goal.