In two more days, I will have 9 months of sobriety and recovery.
I want to post more, but I am not yet sure how to maintain the balance I need of focusing on the present and not getting pulled into the wreckage of my past. The past couple of years (about 5 of those months captured on this blog), I was in anguish. I was depleted. My life was so extremely compartmentalized that I could not see my way out of it. After my last post, in December of 2012, I drank heavily for the next year. I somehow convinced myself that this was just my life; I worked then I went home and drank. I didn’t care about trying to stop anymore. I was so isolated.
In contrast, I recently went on a women’s retreat. I recommitted to this life of recovery and knew, without a doubt, that this is the life I want to live. I do not want to go back. I like myself again. I wake up in the morning and I feel happy and grateful. I haven’t had a regret or shameful moment in a long time. Life is different now and I’m working on becoming a better version of myself.