9 months

In two more days, I will have 9 months of sobriety and recovery.

I want to post more, but I am not yet sure how to maintain the balance I need of focusing on the present and not getting pulled into the wreckage of my past.  The past couple of years (about 5 of those months captured on this blog), I was in anguish.  I was depleted.  My life was so extremely compartmentalized that I could not see my way out of it.  After my last post, in December of 2012, I drank heavily for the next year.  I somehow convinced myself that this was just my life; I worked then I went home and drank.  I didn’t care about trying to stop anymore.  I was so isolated.

In contrast, I recently went on a women’s retreat.  I recommitted to this life of recovery and knew, without a doubt, that this is the life I want to live.  I do not want to go back.  I like myself again.  I wake up in the morning and I feel happy and grateful.  I haven’t had a regret or shameful moment in a long time.  Life is different now and I’m working on becoming a better version of myself.